Why do I miss home even though I’m happy living abroad?

By Vladica Vulin · MA Psychologist
Integrative Psychotherapy Trainee, under clinical supervision
Published on October 2, 2026

You can be happy with your life abroad and still miss home. You may have had good reasons to leave and still feel sad about the parts of your old life that you valued.

But when homesickness comes up, you might wonder: “If I wanted this move, why do I feel this way? Does it mean I made a mistake?”

Before deciding what that feeling says about your move, it may help to name what you miss.

What do you miss when you miss home?

Is it your family, your apartment, your friends? Having everyone nearby? Or the feeling of familiarity - being comfortable somewhere and knowing what to expect?

You may miss the way your life worked. You knew where to go for different things, how the system worked, and who you could ask. Your friends were there, and seeing them was part of your everyday life.

There was something of your own there. It may be difficult to name exactly, but you notice its absence now.

When you say “I miss home,” what comes to mind first? What do you wish you had here with you?

What did you have with the people you miss?

If you miss a particular person, think about what you miss most about being with them. Could you talk without explaining your whole story? Did you know you could ask for help? Was it the time you spent together, and the place that friendship had in your everyday life?

Your answer may be something else entirely. Naming what you miss about that relationship can help you understand what you would like more of in your life now.

You can miss parts of a life you wanted to leave

We choose to leave because of certain things. That does not mean the parts that worked well cannot be missed.

Maybe life there was mostly not how you wanted it to be. You still had a friendship that mattered, a place where you felt comfortable, or routines that made everyday life familiar and predictable.

Being happy abroad and missing those things can exist at the same time. You do not have to choose which feeling is legitimate.

You had reasons to leave. You also had things you cared about.

Does missing home mean moving abroad was a mistake?

When you wonder whether moving was a mistake, ask yourself what would make it one for you. Is it missing home, or are there particular things about your life now that you want to reconsider?

Does missing your old home mean you made a mistake? And would not missing it mean you didn’t?

How realistic is it to simply cut off your old life and start a new one, without missing anything from before?

What would mean the most to you now?

Two questions you can take a little time with are:

“What do you miss most right now?”

“What would mean the most to you to have, so that you could feel better?”

Your answer might be very specific. You may miss having your family nearby, meeting a friend after work, or knowing how to get things done without having to figure everything out first.

Missing those things does not necessarily mean you want your whole old life back. You may want more of something specific that mattered to you.

If what you miss is having someone to talk to after a difficult day, what would it mean to have that here? If you miss knowing how everything works, where would some practical help make a difference? And if you miss one particular person, someone new will not be the same.

You do not have to turn every answer into a task straight away. There may be something you can ask for now, and something you still feel sad about. Getting clearer about what you miss does not mean you have to stop missing it.

What can you do when you miss home?

What helps will depend on what you miss. You could start with one thing, rather than trying to make your whole new life feel like home at once:

• If you miss everyday time with someone: ask whether you could arrange a regular call or spend some ordinary time together online. It will not be the same as meeting after work, but it may give you more contact than waiting until the next visit.
• If you miss knowing how things work: choose one thing that is making daily life harder and ask someone familiar with the local system for help. You do not have to figure everything out alone.
• If you miss familiar routines: consider which one you would like to carry into your life now. It might be a meal, a weekly activity, or a way of spending your weekend that you used to enjoy.

These are possibilities to try, not a checklist you need to complete. You can also miss things that cannot be recreated. Keeping in touch and building new routines can matter without taking away all the sadness.

It is legitimate to miss elements of your old life and to grieve what used to be familiar and predictable while you build something new. Both can be present: happiness about the life you are building and sadness about parts of the life you left.

The questions in this article reflect my integrative psychotherapy approach, informed by Richard Erskine’s writing on relationships and understanding each person’s experience. Further reading: Attachment, Relational-Needs, and Psychotherapeutic Presence. This is a therapeutic perspective, rather than research specifically about homesickness.